I appreciate a well-written obituary. It's a fascination born of the fact that I'm required to read national obituaries in my work at a newspaper. A competently done obit is like the dessert-and-coffee on a public life well-lived.

Several months ago, I read of the death of a 41-year-old English aristocrat who was a famous authority on etiquette. It seems the man fell to his death from his high-rise apartment window. The article did not mention if the fall was accidental; I would think it was not.

Ordinarily, this sort of obituary would not hold my interest, especially because I had never heard of the dead man before. I saw the obit on the news wire on my day off, and neglected to save it, so I can't even tell you the man's name.

But that obituary stayed with me because it reminded me of Amy Vanderbilt, a blue-blooded American who had written several best-selling etiquette manuals. Like the Englishman, Miss Vanderbilt also ended her life by taking the direct route from her penthouse to the street.

It's been awhile since I've looked at any etiquette books, but I wonder: Is hurling oneself from a window the preferred method for professional gentlepersons to quit this mortal coil? On what page of Emily Post can this be found?

My instincts tell me that suicide in general would be rude, if for no other reason than that most suicides leave behind a corpse for others to dispose of and often, debris for others to clean up. Massive-trauma methods such as leaping from tall buildings would be particularly gauche, because they are very messy, and frequently necessitate a closed-casket funeral.

Of course, there is also the issue of innocent pedestrians who might be injured by an etiquette writer in free fall. An announcement prior to jumping would seem to be in order: "Excuse me? Could you please clear the sidewalk? This will just take a moment. Thank you."

Even the most distraught among us could probably manage to emit a keening death scream in the name of public safety.

But what do I know about manners? I want to live.